Obviously, this is just a guide to dating in the modern world, and everything I have to say is true: The first woman to send me a message asked me to peep her booty in Instagram—and this is what she actually looked like.

You’re obviously going to have to be ready for anything when you start dating again, and you’re also going to have to be ready for everything to not go your way. Modern dating is about being one step ahead of the game. The idea here is that the more you know, the less you have to worry about and the more time you can spend looking for your bliss—and maybe even figuring out a way to make things work in the first place. Being a modern dater means doing things like anticipating—and even defying—common sense.

The following rules are not rules to break, necessarily. (Hey, things do still happen in real life. They just happen less than before.) They’re more like pro-tips for keeping yourself safe when you’re out on the prowl, and for attracting the sort of people who are likely to match with you. Look, if you’re new to online dating, you’re going to have to sit this one out. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn from other people’s mistakes, though. If your friends have had a bad experience with online dating, ask them how they met their partners. How did they get their messages? What was their first online date like? What advice would they give to you in your situation? You can do your research online or over the phone. The important thing is to get a sense of what has worked for other people.

Set a Schedule

Determining when and where you are most productive is a key aspect of staying on top of your game. If you know you’re at your best hours of the day or week, you can schedule appointments in those times. Whatever you do, try not to schedule too many dates in one week. If you do it right, it will make your life easier later on. There will be time for you to meet with your friends, go to work, see your kids, and everything else—because that’s why you’re dating, right? You need time to get to know one another, and you should keep your dating life as separate as possible from the rest of your life, so that it doesn’t bleed into your work and your responsibilities, and certainly not into your kids.

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The Rise Of Online Dating

Is it time to consider the pros and cons of online dating? The short answer is yes.

A Pew Research Center study published in December of 2018 found that about 60% of millennials have used online dating sites. Most of these millennials use their phones to do so, based on the fact that about 66% of adults in the US own a smartphone. Is online dating safe? While there have been some high-profile examples of men or women falling in love with scammers or other terrible people, there are plenty of legitimate and fun sites to choose from. If you’re looking for a quick, relatively anonymous fling, online dating is the way to go, and it’s never been safer or easier.

It’s also more affordable than traditional dating. The average American man spends about $50 a month, which may seem like a lot, but it’s a drop in the bucket compared to the costs of a first-date dinner or a night of drinks and appetizers. Compare that to some of the costs of traditional dating:

A woman I spoke to recently told me that she was dating a man who insisted on treating her to a nice meal every few dates in order to show that he cared about her. She said that he would occasionally ask her what she wanted for dinner and then proceed to get her exactly what she wanted. Apparently that’s not the sign of a respectful man, but it’s pretty common for men to ask women on dates that they pay for.

It’s also far less time-consuming. A recent survey found that 45% of couples met on online dating sites, and that number will only continue to rise. Once you’ve committed to a face-to-face date, there’s no turning back. All you need to do is keep meeting potential partners until you find the one who sparks your interest.

But Online Dating Isn’t for Everyone

Online dating has its drawbacks, and like all things, there are people who love it and people who hate it. If you love being on the go (the freedom of being able to check your profile at a moment’s notice), then online dating is for you. If, however, you just aren’t interested in the anonymous nature of online dating, then you’ll find better success with more traditional venues.

For starters, it’s a lot less convenient than traditional dating. You need to sign up and browse for members. This could be difficult if

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